Monday, October 13, 2008

Separated at birth: Jim Adkins and Franklin Pierce?

It's an interesting dilemma: Is Jim Adkins* a reincarnation of our fourteenth U.S. President, Franklin Pierce (with a little less charisma, of course)?
*And no, I'm not referring to the creator of the Atkins diet, Mr.
Robert Atkins - we have him to thank for driving millions of helpless children into the illusory clutches of vegetarianism? There's nothing better than convincing people that stuffing their faces with pork and cheese and then washing it down with beef jerky and bacon grease is going to help them lose weight.
I'm referring to Jim, the Jimmy that is (or once was) Jimmy Eat World, the band that got us all through the depression/repeat identity crises that is adolescence. And although Franklin Pierce did me no such favors, I'm inclined to believe that he'd probably be more fun to hang out with (at least go to for fashion advice.)
They look like they're both pretty good at working up a sweat and then fossilizing their hair. And frankly I would like to have seen Franklin Pierce sporting the denim.
Why would I choose Franklin Pierce you ask? Because I have a complex that involves remember all of the U.S. Presidents in chronological order. Why would I do that? Because I have an insatiable hunger for complexes. I think I'm going to name it the "Manticore Nutrition Approach: A Complex Weight Loss Program."

1 comment:

The Constable said...

(sarcastically clapping but meaning it genuinely)